Addressing your recent search engine queries.
1. quasimodos locale
The Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. But here in Chicago you could probably find someone comparable at the Ram.
2. ethan reynolds
Believe it or not, I haven't written about good ol' Brat Boy since April 11th. This is probably because he hasn't been very interesting ever since he started dating Benjamin Bradley and shilling for Ginch Gonch (leave it to Brat Boy to make being a spokesmodel and dating a porn star seem as boring as all hell).
But you people continue to google him a lot, and your continued interest compels me to keep track of things over at the always inspirational, always incomprehensible Brat Boy School (don't say I never did anything for you).
Reading Brat Boy remains a puzzling experience, full of challenges to coherence and syntax. For example: according to Brat Boy, Paris Hilton, who broke the law, should not have to spend a month in jail ("Justice has been perverted," the civil rights activist/underwear spokesmodel declared); but Britney Spears, who did not break the law, should be detained in a rehabilitation facility indefinitely and against her will if necessary ("Perhaps it's time to eliminate voluntary stays in rehab," the advocate for a police state/underwear spokesmodel declared). While Paris should get off because the judge in her case was prejudiced against her hotness and probably jealous of same, Britney should be locked away forever because she shaved her head.
3. salamander costumes
Sorry, can't help you. If it's any consolation, here's a picture of Homer Simpson in his Safety Salamander costume.
4. larkin dear charles
I don't feel like typing out the whole poem, but the May 8th entry of Fool's Gold Coast contains a snippet.
5. jessica simpson poem after europe trip
From the poetry of Philip Larkin to the poetry of Jessica Simpson. Fool's Gold Coast contains multitudes. I haven't had the pleasure of reading any of Ms. Simpson's verse, but if she wrote a poem after returning from Europe, I assume it went something like this:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I sure did miss ketchup,
And also The View.
Anything else I can help you with?