Losing the War on Error

After about fifteen years of shaving with an electric razor, I recently decided to switch to the manual style, reasoning that doing so would produce a closer, cleaner shave.

This has had roughly the same effect on my face that George Bush had on Iraq. Undertaking regimen change under the smug assumption that it would only improve my prospects in the region, I did not adequately prepare for the challenges that were bound to follow upheaval, and now my face threatens to erupt into a full-scale dermal insurgency.

I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I resist the idea of returning to an electric razor as a cut-and-run strategy; on the other hand, I am a Democrat and therefore entirely open to the suggestion.

Trying times, my friends. Trying times.