David Zak, who recently announced he's stepping down as Bailiwick Repertory Theatre's artistic director, has been posting a series of Q&As with local critics at the Chicago Examiner. “I’ve always wondered, where do these people come from,” he told Performink. “I just wanted to generate this conversation about who the people are who are deciding."
“Everybody got back to me," he continues, "except for the guys from TimeOut Chicago, which I thought was hilarious.”
I don't know what that crack about TOC is supposed to mean, but I think I detect a tone! This makes me think maybe the questions he poses to the critics have a similarly snippy subtext, so I have decided to translate them for you below.
How did you get started in this part of the business? Do you have formal theater or criticism training?
TRANSLATION: So, just who do you think you are, anyway? What gives you the right to pick on the hard-won fruits of our labor? Is it safe to assume that you're a failed actor, like every other critic?
What about the job makes you crazy with joy?
TRANSLATION: Do you like ANYTHING about the theater? Or are you, as your writing suggests, a joyless churl?
Can you write about a favorite moment that you will always remember from a Chicago production?
TRANSLATION: Seriously. I bet you can't name one single thing you like about the theater. Go ahead. I dare you.
What do you most dislike about doing this job?
TRANSLATION: So go ahead: carp away like you always do.
Any advice you would give to Chicago’s producing community – either the non-profit or for-profit side?
TRANSLATION: Ooh, look everybody, we've got the freakin' Oracle of Delphi over here, ready to dispense some more of his awesome wisdom on how we're doing our jobs wrong. Better not miss a word!
What do you want us to know about you as a person?
TRANSLATION: I know it's a stretch, but maybe you could try to say something that humanizes you for once. Or are you happy with the impression you give of being a heartless monster?
Anything else you want to mention?
TRANSLATION: God, how I loathe you.
[If you're interested, you can read my answers to Zak's queries here.]
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