November 17th
Tonight I went to see Desire on the Elms. Audiences will appreciate its depiction of desire and its depiction of elms--a far cry from the Goodman's recent production, which didn't have any elms at all.
It was also nice to sit down.
Before the show and at intermission, I chatted with my fellow Chicago critics--Hope from PlaysAreNeat.com, Morty from the Skokie Senior Center newsletter, all the greats. The topic on everybody's mind was the absence of Chris and Hedy, who've been laying low ever since Hedy killed Mary Schmich from the Trib.
She hasn't been formally charged yet, but Morty, who's got a nephew in the DA's office, says it's just a matter of time on account of the police have been able to connect the elastic used to strangle Mary with the waistband of the tutu Hedy was wearing at the Halloween party where it all went down. I says, "Yeah, but what's the motive? There's gotta be a motive."
He says, "Professional jealousy."
Apparently, the guy who wrote the dialogue for Hagar the Horrible in the funny pages recently took a new job writing jokes for Laffy Taffy wrappers, and both Hedy and Mary applied to be his replacement. Mary already did the Brenda Starr strip, but she got the new assignment anyway. Hedy was notified just two days before the party, and when she saw Mary costumed as Cathy, another character from the comics, she just snapped.
It all makes sense to me. Before a play one time, I accidentally sat in the seat reserved for Her Weissness, and she had the house manager make me move. "Excuse me, sir," he says (a real twatty fella wearing one of those headsets like he's the defensive coach for the Bears or something), "but these seats are reserved for real critics."
I says, "Real? What am I, a ferment of your imagination?"
I wish I had also pointed out that my Web site gets over 100 hits per month, that I see 400 shows a year, that I review 500 shows a year, and that the worst thing I've ever been accused of is plagiarism--which last time I checked isn't a crime, unlike strangling Mary Schmich at some fancy party I wasn't invited to.
Instead I let it go and I got up. But I knew right then and there that Hedy was capable of murder.
ELSEWHERE:
My reviews of Mary-Arrchie Theatre Company's Toronto, Mississippi and UrbanTheater Company's Brainpeople are in this week's Time Out Chicago.
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