DRAFT FOR ANGRY WHITE GUY IN CHICAGO BLOG POST FOR DECEMBER 10:
I Believe...
...that beggars can't be choosers precisely because choosers aren't beggars and that this is the guiding principle of all so-called philanthropic corporate giving in this country, with the fat cats counting on arts organizations' reluctance to look a gift horse in the mouth as a means of maintaining the status quo, never realizing that the true artist not only looks a gift horse in the mouth but leads him to water, makes him drink, and drowns the oat-chomping bastard.
...that if you need any more proof of the demise of print journalism and the deathly desperation of traditional newspaper opinion-mongers, look no further than the murder of Trib columnist Mary Schmich, strangled to death with a piece of elastic by Sun-Times theater critic Hedy Weiss.
...that in the long run the damage Hedy inflicted to Schmich's windpipe pales in comparison to the cultural damage inflicted on the city's theater artists by Hedy's husband, Trib theater critic Chris Jones, whose nonstop shilling for soulless, deep-pocketed schlockmeisters like Broadway in Chicago amounts to a vigorous butt-raping of art itself.
...that sometimes what it takes to point out the obvious is an asshole with a blog, a willingness to make baseless accusations, a revolutionary spirit akin to that of Che Guevara, and about as much restraint as the average Tourette's-sufferer.
...that it goes all the way to the top, people!
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