In an effort to be more like Proust, who spent a long time reading the newspaper every day, I bought a copy of the Chicago Tribune this morning and pored over it as I drank my coffee. And boy, am I glad I did, because it contains the single most pathos-ridden item I have ever read. It appears in a feature revealing candidates' answers to a request, "Tell us something about yourself that would surprise us," on the endorsement questionnaire the Trib sent to people running for citywide office (Carol Moseley Braun: "I like motorcycles!" [punctuation added for comic effect]). Bertha F. Starks, running for alderman in the 8th ward, had this to say:
As a child, I had a skin disorder. I vividly remember the nickname that I was assigned by other children, which was "Disease." As a result, very few children played with me for fear of contracting my "disease." I remember conversations I had with my mom related to these incidents. I also recall a feel-good method that she taught me. She would request my papers for school that day and have me focus on my grades. She would also require that I clap my hands and verbally applaud myself for my achievements. Did this method really help my situation as a child? It certainly did! At the age of 66, I continue to clap my hands and applaud myself for personal achievements attained.
I say we give her the presidency.
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