Alarming

Every night while setting my alarm clock, I resolve to spring awake the instant it goes off and rise briskly to my feet to start the day with no dillydallying or nonsense--the way, I imagine, that someone like, say, Hillary Clinton awakens each day.

And then every morning I hit the snooze button a minimum of three times.

I believe this is a major cause of the waves of self-loathing that regularly wash over me.

I bet Hillary doesn't even need an alarm clock. Her eyes just pop open at 6am on the dot and she firmly says to herself, "It's time."

ELSEWHERE:
My short reviews of Profiles Theatre's Fifty Words and Hell in a Handbag Productions' Trogg! A Musical are in this week's Chicago Reader.