Over the weekend, I went with the BFF to see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 because, as Michael W. Smith used to sing, "A friend's a friend forever / If the Lord's the Lord of them. / And a friend will not say never / When you need somebody to escort you to see a half-baked abstinence allegory."
In this, the fourth installment of the series, Bella and Edward finally get married and she finally gets a chance to sample his superhuman vampire cock. She is instantly impregnated with some sort of fast-growing mutant baby who makes Bella look just awful. I don't want to give anything away, but at the end Bella has red eyes and Jacob, the werewolf, is in love with her baby. The teenagers in the audience seemed pleased with these developments.
My favorite part came when Edward and Bella announce the name they've picked for their mini-demon: Renesmee. A woman seated a few rows behind me said, "Renesmee?? She from Englewood!"
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